One word for better convos and outcomes
"How are you?"
How many times have you been asked that question or asked it yourself?
And then received a response like: good / fine / OK / not bad / busy or some other beige word that provides no meaning and is as engaging as telling someone how wet it is outside. “I can’t see that Trish, thank you.”
Well intended, this question sucks and yet we use it every single day and in almost every interaction.
If we want to get better answers, we need to ask better questions.
Adding feeling” to the end of the question opens up a much more meaningful conversation and interrupts autopilot so that you’re likely to get a more honest answer.
So, rather than ‘how are you?’ try ‘how are you feeling?
Hmmm.... excited, nervous, scared, overwhelmed, surprised, frustrated... the list goes on.
I recently ran a power hour with CHE Proximity on managing emotions and introduced the crew to Plutchik’s “Wheel of Emotions” which is a really helpful way of getting clearer on what you’re feeling.
Simply start from the middle, find the primary emotion that feels right, and then work your way to the outer circle to see which word is the best match for you in that moment.
If how you feel informs what you do / don’t do, or what you say / don’t say and what you think / don’t think (emotions shape your entire world) then it’s time to get both more familiar and comfortable sharing and hearing emotions.
So, my challenge for you is to start asking people “how are you feeling?” and let me know what you discover.
PS Want to share these thoughts with someone else? Go for it!
1) Would you love to attend one of my workshops? I’m launching a new online mindset series very soon looking at resilience, confidence and emotions. Reply to this email to be the first to hear more.
2) Feel like your team could benefit from learning how to better manage emotions at work? Reply to this email and let’s see what we can create together.