I thought (seriously) about leaving my job for just under a year but always ended up at the same dead end. Whilst I knew in my gut I needed change and was ready to see if I could make my side coaching a full-time biz, the thought of ‘taking the leap’ seemed way too scary, irresponsible and unnecessary.
I didn’t hate work.
In fact, I loved my job.
I’d been there for five years, enjoyed a very comfortable salary, loved the people I worked with and had invested years of hard work scaling the ladder to get myself into a senior leadership position.
It felt far too good to leave.
And for what? A giant risk that might fail horrendously and result in having to start again from the bottom?!
I had a mortgage. A husband. Dreams of a family. And a whole lotta fear.
“You need the money to maintain the lifestyle you have and love.”
“What happens if it doesn’t work?”
“How humiliating would it be if you went for it and failed?”
“Why can’t you just be happy with what you’ve got?”
I convinced myself that the smart thing to do was to stay put, await maternity leave and then allow myself to go for it.
All good in theory but the universe had another plan.
It beckoned me to leave.
The things about work that didn’t set my world alight (a 2-hours commute anyone?) grew more frustrating.
The envy I felt when others (including my incredible clients) followed their intuition and resigned, travelled the world or did whatever the f*ck they wanted, grew more intense.
The little voice inside me only grew louder; “you know you’re ready to leave, you know you’re capable and you know this is what you need to do.”
“Let it go” I thought to myself. “You’re never going to leave.”
In and amongst the mayhem of my mind, I booked into my first ever business retreat hosted called Play Bigger by Hayley Carr. In an attempt to pacify the call to leave, I convinced myself that this retreat would teach me how to maximise my time so that I could continue to grow the business without having to leave my job.
“Great plan” my brain said. My heart simply sighed.
There was one question asked of me at the retreat that changed my life.
“If money and energy was infinite, what would you do?”
At first I didn’t know what to write. Um… spend more time in the sun? Read more books?
After 30mins or so, my page was full. Travel the world. Live in a beautiful home by the beach. Enjoy a European summer every year. Exercise four times a week. Cook again. Work for myself. Choose my own hours. Leave my job.
Nestled in amongst my dream were those three words; “leave my job”.
And finally it all became clear to me.
For the first time I wasn’t focused on the cost of leaving my full-time job but instead could finally see the cost of staying. The cost? Everything I had ever wanted.
48-hours later I was sat in front of my boss handing in my resignation with crystal clarity that it was the right thing to do.
I QUIT MY JOB.
I did it!
And at the end of this week I will be full-time in my business and will be living a “pipe-dream” I’ve held for such a long time. I’ll be setting my own hours, working from and when I want and I’ll be the master of my own destiny.